My New Book Review Blog...

Hello, I decided since I do so many book reviews to have a special place just for them. Please click on the link, I would love for you to continue to follow me on this blog as well.
Talk soon.
Just click on the link, it will take you right to the new blog!

Faith.. What am I missing here?

Something came to my mind today, and the sense of fear and abandonment managed to move into full action! To be honest, I was hesitant to even admit out loud or write it on paper for fear, (there's that word again.) of what other's may think of me or how I feel about myself. I then realized that this is my blog, and holding it in, will not ever resolve this "issue" I have, and a serious one at that! Fear and abandonment have been a friend to my family for a long time, or maybe more accurately, "been a friend to me." I hate to feel stupid or rejected so I tend to internalize things and not share much, until it physically makes me sick! Academically speaking, I have always made decent grades, but I tell you I had to study twice as hard as most! Writing to me has always been my way out, but then again, the "fear" of someone actually reading it. Whew!

Ok, so enough rambling..Here is the real deal, I have a really hard time accepting the fact that God loves me, and that his presence is in my daily life. It is so hard for me, because I cant see him. I think it is because of the physical ability to interact with humans, that I tend to gravitate to the "human/physical" side of whomever has been placed in my life. Due to the lack of Faith, and real deep connection I feel alone. I also know that this full emotional dependence on someone else other than God, is real close to the Idolatry Line, for I am not trying to go down that line with HIM! I have already experienced heartache and grieving in my life, so I don't think it is God's intention for me to take that class, but I need the answers Now on how to get there and full relationship with God. I know alot of the text book answers on this, like read the bible, he will speak to you? I know scripture.... I feel like I need to get there with HIM soon, like yesterday! I also know how to repent and ask HIM to fill me with his spirit, but something just isn't clicking!
I know I have babbled, and if I am the only one who reads this, I have gotten it onto paper, and like a research paper, can go back and break it down. It sounds like I am just looking for the "Cliff Notes" on this, and I really am not; I will do the work, just tell me what it is Lord!

Thank You God for my Praying Grandma!

I just turned forty (yes, 4-0), and I will tell you that I am just not feeling it. Something about the number I guess, but it puts you in a whole other generation. Anyways, I realized tonight, that as far back as I can possibly remember, my Nanny Interceded on my behalf, and covered me with her prayers!

I don't take lightly what she did for me growing up. She introduced and taught what "Unconventional" Love truly is. In her 87 years on this Earth, I always knew she loved Jesus, and couldn't wait to see him. Looking back as a child, I probably didn't even know that she was praying for me, but she did and continued to cover my children with her prayers as well!,

It is truly God's Grace and Mercy that kept me, but her prayer's sure did help! It takes a very special person to Intercede in prayer with another. She prayed even when she didn't feel like it, she would tell me, "Just keep pushing for it baby, if it is Gods will it will happen."

My Grandparents always took me to church, and I remember that Nanny knew everybody!!!! It was either her prayer group, or woman's group. It was such a wonderful experience, and to truly know that no matter what I did, she would never stopped loving me or interceding for me, and that's what Jesus has done for all of us!
Thank you God for giving me my Nanny! I miss you....