This is Ridiculous....

You know this is absolutely crazy, it has been ten years since Daniel passed away. I have learned to accept and deal with that. He is gone, and I must move on for that's what he would have wanted anyway. The ridiculous part is every time Elijah leaves the house, I almost fall apart, sometimes I do. I know that I have said I give it all to God, and that if it is his time, its his time. I don't know why I have such a fear about him leaving me. I probably need counseling or a  big kick in the butt. Either way I have to get over this fear! The craziest part is if something, God forbid did happen, and I was with him I could handle that better. I guess I just watched my mom go through such torment, even to this day, she has and never will be the same! Daniel was only 25, he had so much to live for! But that's another story....
Peace!

Do You Fear Dying?

This was on my mind today, and I thought about it. Do you have an unnatural fear about dying? I think about it more now that I am getting older, most certainly. I don't think that my thoughts are unnatural, for we all come to terms that death is a natural part of life. I think more along the lines of how it will affect the lives of those left behind. Dying is the easy part. Sometimes my thoughts about something happening to one of my kids could be alittle out there, I think, after losing my brother at such an early age, compounded with my fear of "not trusting this crazy world". I don't know what else to say about that one, I can take that one over to the OCD level. I have to be careful with that one. The Bible tells us not to fear death, and I know the end result of the journey is worth it. We are not of this world, or from this world, so we don't expect to stay in this world.

I guess I have always been that way with my children. I have only meant to protect them and shelter them. Having grown up with a family of law enforcement, reality about the dangers of this world were real! Real stories,. real victims, real crime scenes... something you don't easily forget. It doesn't help either when you are street smart, and know what time it is.

I need to give this to God, I can't control it, and I can take responsibility for my role in this scenario. I can continuously pray for their safety, wisdom, strength and guidance, and above all else, the Intelligence to know to whom to go to when the troubles come, God.... for they are coming.

One of the greatest gifts that I was ever told that is this, "We as Christians have the power given to us by Jesus Christ our Lord to command the enemy to flee from us! He must flee! Oh trust me, He will be back, but you have that power!

Penny for your thoughts.
Peace

It has been so long...

I can't believe how times flys, and the fact that I havent written in so long. So much is happening, I think too much. Yesterday I woke up and had tightness in my chest, and my blood pressure went up to 160/90 which is crazy, especially when my blood pressure is realy low, like 110 over whatever. Too much doing, I am PTA President at the Middle School, Vice President at the Elementary School, running five days a week between soccer and karate, as well as track, so I am tired. I can't forget that I am a full time student at Liberty University, no wonder I am struggling. I know I have to let something go.

The kids are all doing great, Alexis is in 7th grade already and Ej is in 3rd! No more babies thats for sure. They both excel at school which is a good thing.

Please check out my other blogs, they need viewers and I would love for you to follow. http://thewordasilearnit.blogspot.com and http://eyesofareader.blogspot.com .

Guess that is all for now.
Peace,
Traci